My "Anal Sex" Experience...*enter at ur own risk*

Ok, for those who think of "Anal Sex" as kinky. It is so NOT!

I experienced it.... or rather, pretty close to what I would have imagined Anal Sex to feel like. *P.S: I am not S.M*

Now... I have been suffering from Hemorrhoids ever since I was a Young Teen. Yes, I am the suay 1. I definitely do not belong to the common demographics, think: Chinese, Male, 35-50yrs, Probably wrinkled n balding....

Mainly cos I have a dreadful habit, I like to read in the toilet when conducting the morning exercise! & & since I suffered from Constipation as a child - it's quite normal to strain in e "Sour-Mango-Face" expression whenever I am...AHemm... u know, doing the big business....

So, yes, I have Hemorrhoids.... aka Piles (internal), have been having blood in my stool for as long as I remb!

I found out that back in Roman Bibical Days,

this was actually a Dread Disease!

Actually I did a Ligation procedure abt 3 yrs ago.

I only remb the rubber band fell off after abt 3 days without doing what it was supposed to do. & I suffered big time for it. Apparently, there were a lot of air that was "Pumped in", probably due to the "thrusting" movement of the doc's "Equipment"....I remb that the doc was a rather cute guy, I vaguely tot to myself  "Shit, My 1st anal sex experience is with this cute doc..... *Faint* " the anesthesia took effect.

To have a piece of mind & since I do not belong to the usual demographics of having Hemorrhoids, I was adviced to do a Colonscopy as well, basically like sodomy... a scanning probe is inserted n a camera inside will see my colon n rectum..... make sure the bleeding is not related to possibly of colon cancer (these days it's so common), phew it was not.... just Piles.....

Anyway, I had a serious case of Prolasped Hemorrhoids again.... it's bad cos the inflamed GIANTIC-Pimple-like-Hemorrhoids actually got pushed outa my anus....Yes... *OUCH*....
imagine u have a Blister from Dragonboat, right inbetween ur left and right cheek butts.... each step is a pain when it rubs against the surface.... well.... now imagine it's at the anus.... i can only say it's WOOOOOOLAAaaaaaaaaaa Laaaaaaa!

Thank Goodness my friend referred me to her doc, a Professor n Head of Department in SGH for such matters.... she stressed that he is VERY GOOD. I tot that since this is probably gona be my last Anal Sex experience, I better make it a memorable n Good one!

So I decided to go for the Permanent Treatment called THD (Transanal Hemorrhoidal Dearterialization)
"THD-HP is an invasive treatment. minimally for haemorrhoids and prolapse. hemorrhoidal. THD using Ultra doppler ultrasound will be a flow of red blood. Easy to sew these arteries "tie off". And prolapsed tissue is sutured back to the anatomical location of tissue without excision. THD will include nerve or above the line. dentate. because the pain is minimal. THD will normally. Outpatient settings and return to normal activities within a few days."




*CAUTION: Those considering Anal Sex, pls reconsider after watching this video*



Anyway, my doc was really cute, those he's a professor, he's not old n balding at all! He wore a Nice Pink shirt n got a squirty clean pair of specs!

On the contary, he's quite a flamboyant, chirpy middle aged guy, with bright eyes n an uncanny enthusiasm, it's hard to imagine he love his job.... it means that he actually enjoy looking at and probing his finger into ass tat look like this.

I was lucky i guess, I called on Monday to get an appt, & I got a wed Appt.

When I saw him on Wed's morning, let his finger do the probing (prologue to anal sex) & got a surgery appt on Thursday! It's all chop-chop-Kurry-Pop! very fast!

So on Wednesday, I have to do this: Clean up my ass to ensure tat my experience with Dr.Pink will be a clean clear cut and pleasant affair....

It's a whole bottom of clear liquid I have to pump into my ass, within 1-2 mins, my ass is supposed to purge out all the slimey stuff n be Anal Sex ready... Gross...

----

Anyway, I suffered the morning without Breakfast.... starving like crazy.... u all know I eat lotsa for BF & now, I cant even drink a sip of water!!?! Driving me crazy!

After checking myself in at 1021am.... it was only about 12.30-12.40 when I finally meet Dr.Pink again!

Again he shook my hands politely & laugh easily asking how I am feeling, explained the procedures again.... niceeeee.....

I didnt know I will be adminstered General Anesthesia (GA) thru the veins (cos I got a IV Plug) or thru gas... but the Anesthest bluffed me lah!

Gave me a mask, told me it's Oxygen & asked me to breathe in. The Oxygen smelled Funny.... So I tot it GA must be thru Gas... told me to breathe in 2 more & I will be in "dreamland"... before I could tell him off to "STOP KIDDING A 30 YEAR OLD LADY!".... I was in "Dreamland". Bleah.

Anyway, I woke up shortly & the 1st thing I asked was "what time is it?" It was only 1.05pm... so my Anal Sex experience was rather a Quickie... so much for the preparation! Bleah.

It was not really Painful, more like Soreness....it started to kick in. I was still drifting in & out of sleep... 

Frankly, if u asked me how did "Anal Sex"  feel like, I would described it as "Feels like Kena F**K by a Horse!" NOT that I know how it feels like to be F**K by a Horse, but my imagination is limited at just that!

Except that Dr.Pink's "Probe" is not as big as I would imagine a Horse's to be.... still, I would say Dr.Pink has a Big Boy...

Luckily Starry took half a day to pick me up. Had actually wanted to go back on my own n learnt from the nurse that they do not allow that anymore after many cases of pple going back fainting half way.... they have since changed n the protocol is to have discharge some1 only if family/friends came to pick up the patient. Phewww.... thanks Starry for insisting to come!

Blood n shit stained bedsheets.

Strangely I felt quite ok, except for the soreness, i cant imagine why the hospital would insist on Family/friends pick up?! After all, it's only a Day surgery & I have overstayed by 1 hr (in order to claim my insurance). 

By 4pm after the pharmacist issued my medication, I changed into my home clothes n waited for the Nurse to remove the IV plug. Little did I know wat to expect. Missy kept insisting that I sit down on the bed b4 she remove the IV Plug, but I told her it's painful to sit down. So I leaned against the bed. Then I knew why. 

within 1 min after she removed the plug n pasted the handiplast on the puctured location, I felt faint.

I stood up & I tot Starry that I am feeling faint & I am gona Black out on her. I could not balance myself & tot I was going to die. I broke into cold sweat & the nurse quickly push the wheel chair over n sit me down. I could not even balance my head cos there was not support but I tried to lean my head at the Pole of the wheelchair but kept slipping off. I feel slumped.

My t-shirt was all wet from the sweat n the next thing I know, she took my Blood Pressure n told me it was very very low.... normal person shd be abt 120 BP bah, mine was like 60+? She fanned me with a newspaper for abt 5 mins, gave me two cups of glucose and continue fanning till I felt better. my shirt was soaked thru. 

In the end, I lie down back into the bed.... haiz... only after abt 10mins I felt better n could joke again... i probably scared the hell outa Starry cos she said I looked so pale like a white sheet (she jokingly said that she finally understood the description she alwis read abt in stories). I replied to tell her that that's probably the only time that I am at my Fair-est! kekek!

Another BP taken b4 the nurse agreed to release me! she only said "Better".

I was given another cup of hot Milo

(oh... Milo never tasted so good!) n 2 packets of Crackers!

But I had to sit on only Mr.Right or Left Butt cheek...

Took a cab back.... but somehow I drifted in & outa sleep again in the cab... I fell asleep shortly after i got home & didnt even know that Starry left.

For the next few days, whenever I need to do my big biz, I am supposed to use this 1st....

Numb the area abit b4 Put Puting.... Bleah..

Quite alot of Medication....

It's not too bad considering that this THD procedure is relatively new & the downtime is really lesser. MC is for 9 days, but I am expected to return to normal activities within 4 days. Dr.Pink said : "U'll be able to start running again very soon!"

-------