Born Introvert, Nurtured Extrovert...

Pinky brought my attention to this article when warning me that she is going into "Hibernation" mode.

Time to time, I will  do that too. But I have learnt to recover faster each time.
I thought this article totally describes my character and some of the frustration i have when "socialising" with pple....

Here goes:
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Extract from : Hush is the word , Janice Tay, For The Straits Times (26 January 2008)
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WE HEAR a great deal about freedom of speech but what about freedom of silence?
Ironically, from the nation that talks the most about talking comes a push for the right to say nothing at all.

It comes in the form of an American magazine article entitled Caring For Your Introvert by The Atlantic correspondent Jonathan Rauch. Written in 2003, it continues to draw more hits than any other piece on the magazine’s website.

As an introvert, Rauch says, he belongs to one of ‘the most misunderstood and aggrieved groups in America, possibly the world’.

Being introverted does not necessarily mean being shy; it just means that people tire you out.
While extroverts need company like the Energizer Bunny needs batteries, introverts recharge by spending time alone.

But Rauch makes it clear that introverts don’t harbour a grudge against the rest of the human race: ‘We love people…We just can’t socialise with them all the time. We want to hold their hand or hug them or just sit quietly and read a book with them.’

What introverts don’t want to do is go to parties and make small talk.
But the world is filled with people who do – and they set the standard for what is considered normal and desirable behaviour.
Some introverts learn to keep up a stream of conversation (I think this is me now....)  but those who can’t or won’t tend to get labelled as shy, aloof or arrogant.
Rauch notes that female introverts have a harder time because people don’t usually think of women when you say ‘strong, silent type’.
But whatever their gender, introverts are almost always outnumbered in politics, a field where what you say appears less important than how you say it – and how often.

Japanese Prime Minister Yasuo Fukuda seems to be one of the few ‘introverts’ who have risen to the top. I don’t have conclusive proof that he’s one but I have my suspicions because whenever people try to describe him, the same words keep cropping up: undemonstrative, self-effacing, steady, grey. (irks!!)

According to an article in The Times last September, when a supporter encouraged him to ‘express his personality’, he replied: ‘I have no personality.’
But of course he does. It’s just the kind of personality that’s at the other end of the spectrum from former premier Junichiro Koizumi’s. Though I think most people, and not just introverts, would look dull beside somebody who has a habit of breaking into Elvis impersonations.

But, writes Rauch, ‘if we introverts ran the world, it would no doubt be a calmer, saner, more peaceful sort of place’.
I don’t know if this is true. But I do know that in a world run by introverts, no meeting would last over an hour because they don’t think by talking; they think by thinking. ( i like this!!)

And I know this because I’m an introvert too. Don’t get me wrong – I enjoy conversations. In fact, I consider them one of the best ways to have fun with another person without taking your clothes off.
But I can’t have them all the time. In fact, I don’t have them a lot of the time, which prompted one friend to say: ‘You’re so quiet I sometimes forget you’re there.’

Ouch. Still, this could be useful if I ever decide to become a ninja. Or wallpaper.
By now, you should be able to work out on which side of the conversation gap you belong. And if you’re an introvert, what can you do?

First, understand what you are – and look after what you are.
If you need time away from the maddening crowd, take it. Fighting this is like resenting your need for sleep. (ME time!!)

Rauch recommends helping extroverts to be comfortable with their opposites. It can be hard to relax with another person when silences keep breaking up a conversation. But not if you understand that ‘if someone is being quiet it doesn’t mean they’re having a bad time; it doesn’t mean they’re depressed; it doesn’t mean they’re lonely or need psychiatric help or medication’.

If you’re an extrovert, be confident that the introvert next to you is enjoying your company. If he isn’t, don’t worry about it. It’s not like he’s going to tell you.

So, yes – I think it’s time to raise some awareness. Start by sending this article to 25 people within the next three days. Failure to do so will mean being trapped at 75 parties where people won’t stop talking at you.

But whether or not extroverts take any of this on board, introverts should be prepared to meet them halfway because we are, let’s face it, not the easiest lot in the world to live with.
Having once had to keep a dinner conversation going around someone who sat silent with his eyes down for hours, I can understand why extroverts get frustrated with us.

There are more ways to fit yourself into a conversation than by talking; you can do it by showing that you’re listening. Just looking interested can take you as far as a well-placed witticism because who doesn’t like a bit of attention?

But why should introverts have to go to such lengths, you may ask. Let me be clear about this: You don’t have to do anything, except maybe breathe. But what you do or don’t do will always have consequences.

The trick is to read far ahead enough to see those consequences, decide if you like them – and then act. Come to think of it, you don’t even have to breathe if you don’t mind losing your vital signs.
But whatever you decide to do, I hope you’ll be happy with yourself. And from there, to be happy with others.
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So.... This is me.... but Pinky said I am too expressive to be a classic introvert! I replied with :"I am just more opinionated than usual..." and with that, I just proofed my point!

I have learnt overtime to deal with my "introvert-ness....", how to make pple around me accept me better.... feel less frustrated with me.... in fact, i think i am so good at it these days that pple would never believe me when I admit that i am actually quite shy deep down. Pple tend to think that I am a social butterfly and a party animal sometimes... but that's just what another psychology-trained friend said of me, "Born Introvert, Nurtured Extrovert..." This brilliantly sums up all that I am....

As I told Pinky last night, I actually find Comfort and Solace in Silence.... just not the awkward kind...

So my dear friends, Will u accept me for who I am?