It has been a crazy week.... emotionally crazy one...

I havent been feeling too good with that I am doing with me life now...

my only comfort is coming home to my lovely kitties.... my family and knowing my dear friends are all behind me...

work sucks. period.

everyday i come in to work to read yet another email from my colleague who is leaving, or emails from colleagues who are dying to leave. we all wonder where our fate lies...
every one is cautious, overly carefully, we dun even know if they will intercept our emails...

i feel like.... Dr Allan Ooi... except that this young and talented doctor was in a more anguish position of course. He had dreams, such great dreams.... yet been confined to the walks of red tapes and policies after policies.... he chose to leave this place. But he left having the aim to make his departure - not a wasteful one. I received an email attachment from a colleague, this was supposed to be the last email that Allan sent out to his love ones to explain his choosen route. I duno if it's real, but it does make lotsa sense from the content and agruments presented.
I must say that for the rest of the day - I was wasted. emotionally.

in many ways, the organisation that I am in now is much much similar from where I came from... or rather, where I left for greener pastures. I think I have been fair, many of my colleagues share my sentiments. These are not pessimistic pple who grumble nonstop, take things for granted, ignorance pple... these are supposed to be highly motivated, results oriented, versatile to changes pple who are feeling the effect of this slump greatly, and are now depressed.

Yes, depressed is the word my buddy at work used on me. A called me last nite to chat, he told me that we should meet up more often. He also told me that he is waiting for the offer from another rival co. and knwing his track records, I have no qualms that he will get the offer. In fact, there will even be a promotion, which means better career advancement and higher pay. He urged me to decide what I wanna do next, if I would like to try out at their job offers. I then told him my concerns, my interest and hw I feel at this moment - vulnerable .

A suddenly became quiet, then he said :"Sister, for all the times that u comforted me when I had bad times and were sad, this is the first time that I can be ur listening ear... sis, are u ok, u sounded depressed leh. dun scare ur bro me.... are u ok?"

My joker Buddy can actuallly be this serious! Haha! It surprised me.... the words he used on me... did I sounded depressed? Was I really depressed or sadden or moody or what?! depressed seemed like a very strong word to use on me!

hmm.... i need to think abt it....I need time to be alone.... to really sieve out my tots and clear my mind.... i think i need to bake cake / cook a meal again.... haiz.... hope my cake wouldnt sink or i wouldnt burn my pot again!

*POUT*